“Leadership is not about fitting into expectations; it’s about expanding them.”
Those words, spoken by Councilwoman Amina Bey, set the tone for Friday’s Women@NJPAC Gathering of Givers: Escaping Expectations. The sold-out event at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center brought together political leaders, business titans, and students for a raw, unfiltered dialogue on dismantling the “straitjacket” of societal standards.
Redefining Impact and Success
The morning kicked off with a record-breaking announcement from Anisha “AJ” Johnson, CEO of the NJ Society of CPAs and a Community Foundation of New Jersey (CFNJ) board member. Johnson revealed that CFNJ awarded a staggering $163 million in grants over the past year—a new record aimed at catalyzing social change across the state.
However, the focus then shifted from financial figures to personal truths. Tamara Remedios, a local entrepreneur and “builder,” spoke candidly about the “mom guilt” she shed during the pandemic.
Remedios explained that prior to the pandemic, her identity was entirely defined by external roles: mother, wife, small business owner, and community advocate. She was a “giver” in every sense, but often at the expense of her own center.
“In 2021, it was the first time I signed my name on the events… I reconnected with myself,” Remedios shared. “The shift for me was finding the ability to say ‘no’ without guilt. That gives me the space for myself.”
Keynote: From Media Mogul to Mission-Driven
Keynote speaker Khadijah Sharif-Drinkard, a senior VP at Walt Disney Company and author of the upcoming book Imagine My Mission, shared her journey of using professional power to reshape cultural narratives. Having launched shows like Dora the Explorer and Black Girls Rock!, she urged the audience to view their influence as a tool for inclusion.
“We are at an inflection point in history,” Sharif-Drinkard noted, drawing parallels to the struggle for voting rights. “We cannot talk about the givers unless we are willing to name and confront the takers… the givers exist to ensure the energy is directed toward the greater good.”
A Heart-Wrenching Path to Peace
The day’s most profound moment came during a fireside chat between MSNBC anchor Alicia Menendez and the Honorable Esther Salas. Judge Salas, whose son Daniel was tragically murdered in a 2020 attack at their home, spoke about her life in two chapters: “pre-murder” and “post-murder.”
Salas described the “unbearable grace” required to film a plea for judicial security just days after her son’s death. She revealed that her strength comes from a daily practice of mindfulness and a radical commitment to forgiveness.
“My husband forgave the man who killed our son while he was fighting for his life in the ICU,” Salas told a hushed room. “I forgave the man later. I refuse to let him infect my energy… Forgiveness is more about what it is to you than the person you are forgiving.”
The Next Generation
The event emphasized mentorship, with a specific focus on the high school and university students in attendance. Speakers encouraged the young women to “question every thought” of unworthiness.
Linda Baraka, First Lady of Newark, reminded the youth that their journeys are preparations for their future selves. “Give yourself grace,” she urged. “Whatever you go through is making you better.”
The gathering concluded with a call to action: to take the resources and “safe spaces” created within NJPAC’s walls back into the streets of Newark, ensuring that every woman has the opportunity to lead authentically and unapologetically.
